Where Do You Find Friends Around Here?

[blue_green_dream]

I've spent the past 24 hours or so marveling at how much better my Dreamwidth experience is compared to other social media sites. That isn't hyperbole or marketing hype - it's truly a calmer and more civilized experience. It's liberating to come to a space where you're not bombarded by ads or content farms reposting reposts of reposts of influencer content. What's especially nice is the (seeming) lack of bots and rage bait. I'm sure it happens - there will be bad actors in any sufficiently large group - but there's definitely seems to be more of a buffer than there is on Big Social. Or maybe the trolls come with prominence, I don't know.

While I certainly don't aspire to be Internet famous (or even Dreamwidth famous), I have been struggling to find people to connect with on this site. I remember it being easy way back in the LiveJournal days, when all of my college friends were on the site and community participation was especially robust. Sadly, most of them jumped to Facebook when it was new and never looked back, while life just changed for others and made social blogging less of a priority. I don't blame either group, but for me part of the joy of blogging is sharing ideas with others. I've tried joining and browsing communities, but it seems that there are a lot of them that are essentially dead - no one has posted in them for a year or more. If I'm going to start a community of my own, as I alluded to in my last entry, I'll need to find people who will join it. At least part of that audience may be made up of people who have friended me here, so it's easy to see the problem. I know about tags and how they can help people find your content, but that's only effective if there are people around to click them. I've been enthusing about Dreamwidth to friends in several Discord servers, so maybe they'll join us here. I don't plan to push the issue, though. No one likes a pest.

In addition to discussion, I would also like to expand my reach a bit so I can help get the word out about collective ways to make the world a bit better. There is an endless amount of doomerism on Big Social, as well as relatively new sites like Bluesky, but I don't see a ton of news about things people can do that will make a tangible difference to people and planet. One example is a small, local charity that operates in my area. They've recently put out a request for help with the Cloverleaf Colts Closet, a school resource that, "helps children in need of items at school and at home, from food items, clothing, hygiene products, and more," according to their Amazon Wishlist. The charity put out the call on Facebook because the Closet is desperate for items; while you don't technically need an account to see the post, the walled garden nature of the site makes it far less likely that non-users will be able to find the post. Facebook's endless scroll also leads to what I refer to as, "tears in rain" - the extremely high possibility that a post will be lost in a never-ending feed. However, a public post here on Dreamwidth would be easy to link to or even pin to the top of my feed, making it a bit more likely that it would be noticed. This visibility would make it easier for people to discuss the project, ask questions, coordinate with others, and (hopefully) find ways to help. I know that action helps me fight back against the crushing depression and existential dread we're all facing these days, and I can only assume I'm not the only one.

I'll do some more digging and exploring of the site to see what I can discover. Hopefully I can find my people and get rolling on that community soon.

Comments

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Where Do You Find Friends Around Here? <<

* Use the Add Me communities.

* How to Find Things You Like on Dreamwidth

* Watch for Friending Memes. There is a community friending_memes but it doesn't post often.

* In communities or blogs, watch for posts or comments that match your interests. Follow that person back to see if their blog appeals to you, and if so, subscribe.


>> I've spent the past 24 hours or so marveling at how much better my Dreamwidth experience is compared to other social media sites. That isn't hyperbole or marketing hype - it's truly a calmer and more civilized experience. <<

It really is different. Now, there are some jerks here. But DW has good privacy and moderation tools. You can block people who bother you. There are far more congenial people and communities than obnoxious ones. And in your blog, you can set rules like "Don't be a dick" and enforce them as needed. I rarely have a problem, and usually if someone tries to start a flamewar on my blog, my audience has dumped wet sand over before I've even gotten up and seen it.

>> It's liberating to come to a space where you're not bombarded by ads or content farms reposting reposts of reposts of influencer content. <<

DW does not have a reblog function. There are some folks who post link clouds from DW or elsenet, but you don't have to read those if you don't wish to.

>>What's especially nice is the (seeming) lack of bots and rage bait.<<

There is some rage bait, but far less than most places. There are few bots. If you see botspam comments, delete them -- that will give you a screen to report them as spam. The developers are serious about maintaining good signal:noise here.

>> I have been struggling to find people to connect with on this site.<<

It can take some time. Come hang out on my blog and explore my audience if you wish -- it's full of interesting people.

>> I remember it being easy way back in the LiveJournal days, when all of my college friends were on the site and community participation was especially robust.<<

You could encourage your current friends to join DW, especially in December when they run a points drive. Also any time another platform implodes and people flee, encourage them to try DW. We get a lot of new users that way.

>>I've tried joining and browsing communities, but it seems that there are a lot of them that are essentially dead - no one has posted in them for a year or more.<<

This masterlist sorts communities by topic and their activity level is listed. You might also like the Daily or Weekly community lists.

>>I've been enthusing about Dreamwidth to friends in several Discord servers, so maybe they'll join us here. I don't plan to push the issue, though.<<

Don't do it randomly. Watch for an opening.

1) When someone asks you about what you're doing or you are talking about yourself, you can list launching a community and invite anyone who's interested to join the fun.

2) When someone complains about a thing that is relevant to your community, you can cite it at a solution.

3) When someone complains about the platorm they're on, and it's something DW does better (e.g. privacy, moderation, lack of ads) then recommend DW as an alternative. Link to this page:
https://www.dreamwidth.org/create


>> In addition to discussion, I would also like to expand my reach a bit so I can help get the word out about collective ways to make the world a bit better. <<

We need all the help we can get. I post often about such things, and so do some of my readers. Definitely look up dialecticdreamer who does this in fiction form. She runs a couple different prompt calls each month where you can leave prompts and get ficlets.

>> There is an endless amount of doomerism on Big Social, as well as relatively new sites like Bluesky, <<

Well, there is plenty of shit going wrong these days politically, environmentally, and all. Only some of that is fixable.

>> but I don't see a ton of news about things people can do that will make a tangible difference to people and planet. <<

That's because figuring out how to fix things is harder than noticing that they are broken. One thing I sometimes do is post an article about a problem and then list things you can do about it.

I recommend that you find several news sites that post on topics you care about, so you can use those to spark discussions. Among mine are GoodGoodGood (positive news), Strong Towns (community efforts), and ScienceDaily (science news).

>>This visibility would make it easier for people to discuss the project, ask questions, coordinate with others, and (hopefully) find ways to help.<<

You can make a support or how-to post about any topic you care about. I've got a bunch in my How To memories.

>>I know that action helps me fight back against the crushing depression and existential dread we're all facing these days, and I can only assume I'm not the only one.<<

Definitely not the only one. There's a limit to how much I'll meddle in free will once people have made their choices clear -- and people have made some heinous choices -- but I can still take care of wildlife who, for instance, did not vote for an internet troll twice.

[vriddy]

Hey there, and welcome back to Dreamwidth/journaling sites :) Hope you find your feet here!! I see ysabetwordsmith's got you covered in the comments of your last post, I was going to link to a few add-me comms and newcomers has been good with refreshers on how to do things around here. I have my own nowhere-as-thorough post about finding folks on Dreamwidth although in the end, I did find most of my dw friends through active challenges like snowflake_challenge in January and Sunshine Revival (now sunshine_revival) in July. Some interest-specific comms like booknook (for readers) have sticky posts with permanent friending memes, too.

I know you got a link to my masterpost on starting a comm too, although it is more fandom-centric. Your comm idea sounds great. The concept reminds me a little bit about thisfinecrew for US-based folks, I'm not sure if you will find ideas or relevant overlaps there, should it make sense to join forces. It can be difficult to sustain a comm on Dreamwidth. They never took off as much as on LJ because the successful comms were doing well and didn't migrate, and the others ended up on different social media like Tumblr. So for example, comms like tv_talk or c_ent with a wider umbrella will tend to do a lot better than a comm about a specific series here. (Sorry if you're already aware of that, I only read back your last couple of posts!)

I've been enthusing about Dreamwidth to friends in several Discord servers, so maybe they'll join us here. I don't plan to push the issue, though. No one likes a pest.

Haha, I also was supppeeeer enthusiastic when I just came back to Dreamwidth, and did get a number of people to join but only one actually stayed, haha. Even if I managed to recommend a number of active journals and comms, people are not used to a Reading Page/feed that doesn't offer new content every minute or whenever you refresh, and lost interest. And after spending time in spaces in which follower numbers reflect success, it's hard to understand that a post with 17 comments is a resounding success. Or they don't know what to say and find even posting in their own journal intimidating (<- this is more generally a post on comm culture that you might find interesting, if you haven't read the original post it links to yet!). Now I mostly do incidental promoting.

Wishing you all the best with making a comfortable home here, and with everything else!

[blue_green_dream]

Thanks! Your posts were invaluable, especially when it came to the discussion of community rules. That's something I hadn't even thought of initially! Also, thank you for letting me know about thisfinecrew. I've joined that community and will reach out about joining forces with them once I have my community up and running.

Speaking of - I had hoped to get my community set up this weekend, but that may have been overly optimistic. (I had forgotten that my niece's big birthday party was today, and my brain is frazzled after several hours of screaming toddlers.) I'll be sure to let you know once things are set up, and may reach out to you if I have questions. Thanks for the warm welcome, and please feel free to check out more of my journal if you like!

[thewayne]

I'm glad Ysabet saw your post, she's pretty good people.

I don't know how many people you're reading on DW at the mo, I'd look at their older posts, find ones you liked, and read the comments to those. And then drill down on the comments that you really like and look into those people, considering whether to friend them. I've found people that way.

[blue_green_dream]

That sounds like an excellent strategy. I've been digging a bit deeper into Dreamwidth as of late, and I've been really pleased to see a good amount of activity across various accounts and communities. That's something I didn't see back in March, though there's a good chance that I just wasn't looking hard enough.

If you ever see anything on my journal that you find interesting, please feel free to let other people know! That's how I ended up meeting cool people back in my LiveJournal days, so I'd be more than happy to let that tradition continue.

Well ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

One drawback of DW is that it has a ton of dead communities and finding the live ones is not very easy. The search engine is dumb, and not everyone is good at filling their community's Interests field with terms that other folks will search. This is why I've spent the last several years making Follow Friday posts with lists of communities on a given topic and their activity level included. Recently I made a masterlist of those posts.

To find events, there are some bulletin board communities, most for individual fandoms, but fandomcalendar and fandom_on_dw gather all fannish events. Three Weeks for Dreamwidth is about blogging rather than fandom, and runs April 25-May 15.